


Wish You Were Here

by MissytheAngle



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Babysitting, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissytheAngle/pseuds/MissytheAngle
Summary: It's only been a few months. Pearl avoids Greg, avoids his child, avoids anything involving Rose's passing.Until Greg comes to the Temple to ask her to babysit Steven, and then she can avoid no longer. It isn't easy, but a little help goes a long way.





	Wish You Were Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AurigaCapella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AurigaCapella/gifts).



> This fic is for AurigaCapella. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

One thing Pearl learned watching Steven grow up is that babies cry a lot.

And she learned this the hard way.

For the first few months, Pearl did not spend much time with Steven Universe, although she refused to address whether she intended this or not. And months later, this did not change, much to her relief. Even when Garnet or Amethyst visited Greg and Steven at the car wash, Pearl simply threw out excuses to stay behind as opposed to accompany them.

One day, however, Pearl was left to herself at the Temple.

Garnet had left that morning via the warp pad on a solo mission, keeping the details vague when Pearl asked. With no hesitation, Pearl abided by Garnet’s command, having easily accepted Garnet as their new commander.

It wasn’t even a choice between either of them, as Pearl had watched Garnet fall into the role with ease while Pearl had mourned and secluded herself in her room for far too long.

And Amethyst… Amethyst had been disappearing for long periods of time. It began as just a day or two without her presence, which didn’t concern themselves otherwise. But then her ventures lasted days and then a week, but she always came back.

After one visit with Greg, however, her disappearances lasted weeks. Yes, she came into the Temple when she wanted, though she warned no one of her returns. Instead, she caught them off guard, acting nonchalant and distant, enough for Pearl and Garnet to voice their distress as opposed to express their joy at seeing her again.

Such a day was today, so Pearl found herself encompassed in complete aloneness outside the entrance to the temple. The shores lapped over the sand, the sound of lightly crashing waves echoing in her ears. She stared off across the ocean view. The sun held itself at the highest peak in the sky, bright and warm.

Her mind wandered, back to the days where she and Rose sat at this very beach. Rose’s eyes would glimmer with fascination when she’d pick up a shell abandoned on the sand or watched the sun set with bold colors bursting through the sky, oranges and pinks and yellows. This brightness to her features just made her look even more beautiful...

“Pearl?”

Pearl nearly jumped and turned.

Greg stood before her. She hadn’t even noticed him walking across the beach.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, stress aging his face. Rose’s… leaving did not treat him well. Pearl wondered if that was a human thing, looking much older and more tired after loss.

Pearl stiffened, posture tight and straight. “Oh, Greg. Y-yes.” She crossed her arms, feeling noticeable tension. Along with Steven, she rarely saw Greg these days. This was probably the first time in weeks. Her eyes slowly drifted to the human baby cradled in Greg’s arms. “How is… Steven today?”

Greg sighed, bearing a smile mixed with sincerity and exhaustion all in one. “He’s good. He just woke from a nap, so he’s, ya know, got some energy.” Sure enough, little Steven was tugging at a tuft of Greg’s long hair.

“He’s gotten bigger.”

“Yeah,” said Greg. “Look, Pearl, I’m kind of in a hurry, and I need a favor from you guys.”

Pearl bit back a retort that oh _of course_ the first time Greg comes over in weeks is when he needs a favor. Instead, she said, “Well, Garnet’s on a mission, and Amethyst is… well, I don’t know. It’s just me today.”

A glint appeared in Greg’s eyes, but only briefly. “Hoo boy.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can handle it on my own.” Pearl tried not to sound offended.

Greg nodded. “I need to be at work in thirty minutes, my babysitter cancelled, and I can’t find anyone to babysit at the last minute.”

Pearl’s eyes widened. “Can’t you just take him to the car wash with you?”

“I tried to do that once.” Greg faltered. “It wasn’t very smart. Trying to watch over an eight month old and wash people’s cars is not that easy. I’d feel safer knowing he’s with someone else while I’m working.”

Pearl recoiled, a crawl sneaking down her back. “But me? Take care of _him_?” she asked, pointing at the child, who glanced at Pearl’s hand with doe eyes. “Greg, surely you can find some other human to care for him instead.”

“I can’t,” said Greg, shoulders sulking. “I can't. My babysitter canceled suddenly, and I tried to get Vidalia or Barb, but Vidalia's out of town and I don't know when she'll be back, and Barb's working, too. No one's available.”

Pearl groaned, which Greg caught onto. “I know you’re not exactly up for it,” Greg said slowly. He grinned awkwardly. “Hey, remember what we talked about back in December?”

Pearl blinked up at him. It felt like that had only been a few days ago, not over a month ago. That was the closest she had been with Greg and Steven, and the most she had opened up in front of either of them. She blushed a little, remembering that feeling of vulnerability in front of Greg.

“Please, Pearl. It’d mean a lot to me… and Steven.” Greg’s voice was quiet, a borderline plea.

Pearl hesitated, but eventually groaned into her hands. “Alright. I’ll watch over him.” She let out a short laugh, hands at her hips. “I battled Homeworld warriors and elites in a war that lasted a thousand years. How hard can taking care of a human child be?” she muttered mostly to herself.

Greg laughed. “That’s the spirit. I have an apartment rented for this month not too far off. I’ll take you there.”

Pearl let out a relenting sigh and followed after Greg. _I hope I don’t regret this._

***

Greg’s apartment was small and unimpressive, one large room with a kitchen and one extra room being a bathroom, and the building came with an unattractive smell. Greg said it was that way upon his arrival, but that didn’t make Pearl feel any better.

Once inside, Greg followed with simple instructions he kept around regarding taking care of Steven. Showing her the food in the cupboards he had available when she should feed Steven—which he suggested soon. How to change a diaper. What to do if he starts crying. Pearl listened (“Right, right, of course,” she’d say, despite not knowing at all what he was talking about), but did not ask questions.

Before Greg left, he asked several times, over and over, if Pearl was really, really okay with taking care of Steven. And each time, Pearl replied, “Yes, yes, Greg. I’ll be fine!”

 _I don’t need you to be concerned for me. At all,_ she added in her thoughts.

Greg planted a kiss in Steven’s hair one last time and thanked Pearl once more before he shut the door behind him. Once she heard his footsteps fade, Pearl was alone with the child, who sat in his crib that took up a large part of the corner of the room. She looked around said room, which had scarcely anything that could deem this place as ‘a home.’

Pearl walked over to the crib. Steven was playing with the few toys he had, mostly plush animals. A cherubic smile painted his face, his eyes larger and filled with more life and sparkle than the last few times she had seen him. Eyeing the one toy he was holding onto, she picked it up from his grasp.

“Why would you give child a bear to play with?” she murmured to herself. “That just gives them bad ideas in the future.”

Steven made a gesture, hands reaching out, which Pearl figured out the meaning of quickly. “Oh. Sorry,” she said, handing it back. He took it back with a giggle. Content with what was in his hands, he turned away and hugged the bear.

“Well, that’s… sweet,” she said with an uncomfortable look. She’d clearly have to instruct him on avoiding bears in the future.

She was actually thinking about teaching him certain things now… Pearl sighed.

“It’d be for the best,” she said. “The last thing we need is you hugging a vicious bear.”

He didn’t respond. Just played with the bear. Pearl smiled.

Given his distraction, Pearl decided to look around, if only to see if there was anything to keep herself busy. However, Greg kept very little in the apartment. Most of it must have been hidden in a garage or the back of the car wash or even the van...

Her eyes wandered to the couch. Something peeked out from the side farthest from her. Something large leaned against the wall, concealed by what looked like a large table cloth. From one corner that failed to veil part of the hidden object, revealed it was a portrait of sorts.

Unable to bite back curiosity, she unveiled the item concealed by the cloth. The brown cloth fluttered onto the floor, scattering dust. Pearl stifled a gasp.

_Rose._

A portrait, beautiful and bursting with color and life, watched over her with shut eyes. Pinks swirled across the canvas, and despite being intimate, it somehow brought a warmth across the room.

Pearl had wondered where this thing had been. Her finger briefly brushed across Rose’s painted face, which looking so small surrounded by her voluminous hair. She let out a long sigh.

She remembered the day Rose arrived at the Temple on quick toes to show Pearl the portrait. Rose bore a grand smile that took up much of her face and explained with hurried vigor that she sat on a stool for what felt like an eternity but was only two hours.

When Rose told her that the painting that captured Rose’s beauty was made by a human, Pearl doubled back. Not even a famous artist that they had met once upon a time who used their canvases to make stories, but one of Greg’s human friends in Beach City! A complete stranger.

Pearl had squinted, somewhat admiring the painting, but eventually had just lost herself in Rose’s excitement and how her teeth showed in her smile. Rose was struggling, walking around and muttering to herself as to what was _just_ the right place to put it.

Rose had conceded, however, and said to either herself or Pearl (Pearl is still not quite sure), “Perhaps I should give it to Greg. He might have a good place to put it.” All the while, she had held one available hand around her stomach, which was bulging out just a touch more because of—

A tiny noise woke her from her memories.

Pearl walked back to the crib and blinked.

Steven sat upright in the crib, but tears shimmered in his eyes. While not crying yet, Steven was on the verge of such. Inwardly panicked, Pearl scooped him up and held him close to her. “Oh, no, don’t you start crying!” she said, her pitch rising and falling.

Whatever she did seemed to calm him, as his features calmed. The tears that threatened to fall from his eyes dropped, but stopped. He gazed at Pearl with a curious gaze, tilting his head.

Pearl smiled, both to the child and herself. _This isn’t so hard after all!_ She didn’t even need Amethyst or Garnet or even Greg here.

Small, fleshy hands grabbed her nose. She flinched and looked down. Steven started giggling, a sound like quiet little windchimes.

“Would you stop doing that?” she asked, but with little command in her voice.

His giggles quieted, although his smile stayed.

She laughed. “Alright, that’s enough.” Pearl placed him back inside the crib and looked down at the child. His hair was so curly. Tiny little, brown curls circled his face like small springs that spread out of his head. With a barely steady hand, lightly pull at a strand of his dark hair. So short, so dark. His smile had faded.

With a brief glance at the portrait poorly hidden in the corner, she noticed how the artist even captured Rose’s voluminous hair. How it blew out from her head and waterfalled down her back with thick waves. The large curls that hugged her face and her body—

She forced herself to turn away, her face turning warm but also feeling a crawl down her back.

Steven wasn’t Rose. His hair was darker, shorter, and unimpressive.

Rose wasn’t Steven. Rose was _gone_.

With a sigh, she made attempts to repeat this mantra to herself. Whenever she, for even the briefest moment, wanted to forget that Rose no longer lived among them, she muttered this to herself over and over again. Because it was the truth, and she needed to be okay.

Except the truth can sometimes be ugly. And this truth was a parasite biting at her skin.

Only several months had passed, yet they went by so fast. Maybe she would never be okay again. Time slipped from Pearl’s fingers, just like Rose did.

She was here, but not really…

_“Wahhhhhhhhh!”_

Pearl started and spun around, her face wet and warm. Steven’s face was bright red again, tears streaming angrily down his chubby face. She did a double take and reached out for him.

“Oh, come on! What’s the matter with you now?” she muttered, knowing full well that he wouldn’t respond. Instead, he continued his screeching, his messy, wet screeching.

She bent to pick him up from his crib and held him out in front of her. “See, everything’s fine! Everything’s fine. Everything… is… fine.” Her facade began to fade.

Steven cried and cried. Cried so much.

Pearl scurried through the list of possible reasons he would cry that Greg informed her about. She grabbed one of his plush toys. “Here! How about this, see? You can… you can play with it.”

He threw it onto the ground.

Once she found the bottle in the fridge, she gave it to him to drink, but he only drank a little before continuing to blubber, snot appearing from his nostrils. She tried to feed him cereal, but he refused to accept anything. She even checked to see if he had wet himself, but he was fine.

Except he wasn’t, because he just. Kept. Crying.

_He just started crying… out of nowhere. Why?!_

“Why won’t you stop?” she asked to no avail. Even if it seemed like his cries were quieter now, she had no way to tell. It still sounded loud. Her entire form trembled, overwhelmed and unable to figure out what to do next. She wanted to have a plan, but she had none. She started breathing heavily, which felt so weird seeing as gems had no need to breathe…

A knock on the door erupted through the walls, and Pearl jumped. Frazzled, she turned around and watched the door. She placed Steven back into his crib. With much hesitation and caution, she took one step closer to the door.

“Greg?” a female human’s voice called out from the other side. Not familiar, but clearly familiar to Greg.

Pearl peered into the peephole, as if that would give her a better idea as to who was standing on the other side. It didn’t. The woman had large, light blond hair, and held her hands at her hips. Still not familiar. She knocked again.

Pearl opened the door, and the woman’s smile lifted.

“Greg, I’m back early and—oh, you’re not Greg,” said the woman, confusion wrinkling her features. When her gaze landed on Steven, she looked back at Pearl, and the confusion on her face drifted away.

“No, of course not,” Pearl said, baffled. “I’m Pearl.”

“Hi, Pearl. Is Steven okay?” the woman asked.

“He’s just—just hold on a second, who are you?”

“I’m Vidalia.”

Pearl’s eyes widened. “You’re Vidalia.”

“Yes, ma’am. May I enter?”

Pearl, more shocked by Vidalia’s presence than anything else, found her guard falling down for the briefest moment. “Uh, y-yes,” she stammered, stepping back to let her inside.

Vidalia walked into the room and shut the door behind her. She immediately turned to Pearl, and they walked over to the crib. “I heard him crying down the hall. What seems to be the problem?” Pearl hesitated, her body still tense, but for a different reason now. Vidalia smiled. “Hey, I have a kid of my own. He’s older now, but he was a baby once. I think I can help.”

“I don’t know. He started crying because… well, I don’t know!” Pearl’s voice rose with the panic she had been holding back. Pearl explained briefly how she tried everything Greg had warned her over, but they did nothing to improve Steven’s mood.

Vidalia pondered to herself. “Have you tried cradling him? Calm his nerves, ya know.”

“I already held him.” Pearl rolled her eyes.

“Didn’t try rocking, though… you rock?” Vidalia joked, although Pearl was in no mood for bad humor.

“I… haven’t.”

“Well, let’s try that. C’mere, big guy,” Vidalia added to Steven as she pulled him from his bed and gave him to Pearl to hold. “You just hold him like this, and very slowly and gently, move them back and forth.” To demonstrate, Vidalia brought her arms together, elbows bent, and motioned them left and right.

Pearl did as demonstrated. Steven was still crying, but he had quieted as Pearl rocked him. Vidalia even suggested to hum to him, which Pearl did, with a soft tone that carried a gentle rhythm.

Steven was just making noises in the back of his throat at this point. Pearl pulled a handkerchief from the depths of her gem and wiped the tears and snot from his round face. He made whining noises, but they did not rise into tears again. Pearl sighed with relief slipping throughout her form.

“You’re a natural!” Vidalia encouraged. “Steven’s not really that loud a kid, from what Greg’s told me. So I doubt it takes much to calm him down.”

Pearl’s face fell. _Not that loud until I came around…_ she thought bitterly to herself.

Steven had quieted entirely by this point. He even yawned, his eyelids half shut. Pearl knew to place him in the crib, having watched Greg one night place him in bed when it turned dark. Steven brought one of the other few toys he had, a plush lion, into his arms. He cradled it, eyes fluttering shut.

“Aww, I’m glad Greg kept those around,” said Vidalia.

Steven scarcely made a sound now. With the exception of the occasional sucking in of breath, the toddler slept in pure, tranquil silence. His little body lifted and lowered with each breath in a particular pattern that Pearl started to notice the longer she stared. Calmed from his tantrum, he looked so peaceful and, well, adorable.

“Kid must’ve had a hard day.” Vidalia smirked.

“I doubt he did much,” said Pearl, arms crossed.

Vidalia laughed. A moment passed, and she sat down on the couch. She moved to sit on one side and patted the other. “C’mon. Sit.”

“I’d rather not.” Pearl stayed firm, standing in place.

Vidalia sat back further, back pressed against the cushion. “Alright, then.”

“So you’re Vidalia.”

“I seem to be a big deal for some reason,” she said with a glint in her eye.

“You made that.” Pearl pointed to the portrait leaning against the wall

“Oh, yeah!” Vidalia leaned over the couch to get a better look at it. Her eyes lit up, then softened. “Definitely one of my best, honestly. It wasn’t easy to paint, though.” She snickered. “Greg kept making dumb faces behind me and making Rose laugh. She has the dorkiest laugh, I swear, despite the whole… elegant look she had going on.”

“Greg was there, too,” Pearl replied, only grasping onto that one thing. Her voice was solemn.

“Yup! He introduced me to her.” Vidalia paused, then pointed at Pearl. “Rose mentioned you quite a bit. We talked while I painted, which was fine as long as she didn’t move a lot. She had a lot to say, I’ll tell ya.” She nodded. “She was something.”

Pearl stepped toward the couch, turned around at her heels, and slowly brought herself down onto the cushions. “She was.”

Vidalia’s face fell. “I’m really sorry. Rose said you’ve known each other for… well, I’m not totally sure, but a long time.”

“Thousands of years.” No use lying around it, seeing as Vidalia knew who they were, for the most part. Thousands of years with Rose, and after nine months of pregnancy, and after one moment of weakness, she was gone. Pearl brought a hand to her cheek, leaning her arm against the arm of the chair.

“Yeah, definitely much longer.” Vidalia looked up. “I seriously can’t imagine. How’ve you been holding up?”

Pearl said nothing.

Vidalia rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry. I made things awkward.” The weird tension stayed but only for a few more moments. Vidalia pulled something from her pockets and revealed it to be her wallet. She opened it and showed the contents to Pearl, pointing at a photo held inside. “This is my kid. Sour Cream. Me and Yellowtail—my husband—took him out of town as a sort of getaway since, well, Yellowtails’ not around much.”

She laughed nervously. Pearl just stared at her, not following this train of thought. “But then, well, Sour Cream got sick, so he’s back home with Yellowtail. Really, I’m just here since I knew Greg was in a tough spot.”

“I had it handled,” Pearl said with little to no conviction in her voice.

Vidalia caught onto this within seconds. “Yeah, sure.” She leaned in a bit closer. “It’s fine to admit you need help.”

Pearl leaned away in response. “I don’t know you that well.” Her gaze sharpened on her. “I don’t see why I would.” Even if Vidalia helped her with Steven, even if she made a pretty portrait of Rose, even if she knew Greg and Amethyst, she was still a stranger, a human, to Pearl.

Vidalia shrugged. “That’s fair. But you’re right. I don’t know you very well… or at all, really.” Her smile grew. “But there is one thing I know.”

Pearl had a sudden surge of paranoia. “What?”

“You’re not alone, which is important.” Vidalia’s smile faded into something more somber and thoughtful. Her eyes wandered. “I was a dumb lil’ rebel a few years back. Dropped outta college and ran away with some… jerk who ran off when I told him I was pregnant.” She blew a raspberry.

“He sounds awful,” Pearl said, unable to imagine a scenario of Greg abandoning Rose in her greatest time of weakness.

“He was.” Her face lightened, as if she was on air. “But then I met Yellowtail on the docks while sitting on the beach. A sort of accident, but we met, talked, and the rest is history. And Amethyst and Greg were good to have around, so… look.” She clapped her hands against her knees. “I don’t know, who was it, Garnet that well. Greg is new to the whole thing, but he’s doing the best he can with what he’s got. And well, Amethyst is a riot. Probably not the most responsible—”

“You can say that.” Pearl might as well have spat acid, her words were so bitter. She wondered if Vidalia, one of Amethyst’s few human friends, knew of her disappearances. Or if Vidalia knew more than Pearl did.

Vidalia nodded. “But neither was I. We were both bad influences for each other, but I’m sure she’ll be willing to help. She cares about the kid. Trust me, I know. I know all of her secrets.” She snickered. “Maybe I can tell you them sometime.”

“Uh, sure,” said Pearl with little commitment to the idea.

Vidalia tried to place her hand atop Pearl’s, but Pearl pulled back. Vidalia smiled. “Knowing his parents, Steven’s gonna grow up to be an awesome kid. No doubt things have been rough for you guys, but having someone there for you is better than dealing with that stuff alone. I’m saying this from experience.”

Pearl just stared at her, unable to muster a response. Turning her gaze away, she brought her hands onto her lap.

A sudden noise from the crib brought their heads up. They walked to the crib and saw Steven arising from sleep, yawning and stretching and looking up with dozing, half opened eyes.

“Well, that was quick. Hello, Steven,” Pearl greeted, picking him up from his bed. She brought him to eye level, staring into his brown eyes. “How are you doing?”

“Pol.”

Pearl gasped. “What was that? Steven, did you say Pearl? Pearl?”

“Pol.”

… Okay, not exactly, and she had a definite urge to start teaching him proper english in the future. Nonetheless, a sudden surge of pure joy and pride filled her. Close enough, right? Her smile was wide, and she could not put it away. “I think he said Pearl!”

Vidalia, too, was smiling. “Man, that’s the cutest thing.” She slung her arm around Pearl. “Nice job, Pearl. Like I said, you’re a natural.”

“Ehh…” She slipped from Vidalia’s grasp with her teeth gritted in an uncomfortable frown. “Thank you… Vidalia.”

Vidalia tilted her head, bringing her arms together at her hips. “No problem, but I don’t think you need me here anymore.” She jerked her head towards the door. “‘Sides, I have my own kid to take care of. Poor thing needs his mom right now.” Vidalia made her way towards the door. “Be seeing ya.”

“V-Vidalia?” Pearl stuttered.

“Yeah?” Vidalia turned, almost out the door.

“I do mean it. Thank you. For your help.”

Vidalia made a two fingered salute. “Anytime, Pearl.” And she was gone.

Pearl spent the rest of the afternoon watching over the child. Feeding him, rocking him, even changing his diaper which was… awful, why do humans _do this?_ Although she had many questions concerning children (why are they so easily distracted? Why don’t they listen when you try to read to them. Why do they throw food at you when food is supposed to be consumed?), she knew that she would have to ask someone that isn’t Steven.

When Greg returned that night, Pearl greeted him at the door, holding Steven close to her chest. She did not greet him with much enthusiasm, but certainly not with any hint of a grudge or disdain like she usually expressed. Greg brought Steven into his arms for a large hug, only to bring Pearl into it.

“Oh, that’s really unnecessary, Greg!” Pearl exclaimed, pushing out from the embrace. Her cheeks blazed blue.

“It just makes me really happy to see that you two are getting along.” His mouth curled into a nervous smile. “Maybe you could all come over more often. Like I said, I could use all the help I could get.”

Pearl hesitated, but after a moment of thought, she really didn’t have a reason to hesitate. “I think we could work with that.”

Greg’s smile grew. So did Pearl’s.

One thing Pearl learned watching Steven grow up is that babies cry a lot.

But that wasn’t the only thing she learned.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought the title didn't quite work but then I thought of Pearl or even Greg thinking “I wish you were here to see your son” and I stuck with it.
> 
> Vidalia and Pearl interacting? I'm just slightly disappointed they haven't talked in the show yet, but hey, that's what's so great about writing fanfiction; get to do it yourself ;) 
> 
> Murray Holidays, everyone. Now by all means, go read AurigaCapella's fic, which was really sweet and well-written. I really loved it, and plan to read more of their stuff later on. In fact, go read everyone in the Cluster's Secret Santa collection. I'm so happy to be part of a group of lovely and talented people.


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